Leisure Suit Larry VII Walkthrough
This walkthrough was personally made by Catz (email@example.com) and he is to be blamed
for all mistakes, spelling errors, and all the such. Anyone can download this and put it on their
web page, provided I at least get credit for writing the damn thing. This walkthrough is the first
one on the net (so far), and only gives you about 994 points, and finding all 32 Where's Dildo's?
The other dildo's are there, I just overlooked them. Please excuse errors on this walkthrough, as
it was made very quickly. This walkthrough will be revised on a web format, with pictures and
diagrams and crap. Any ideas and the such should go to firstname.lastname@example.org
I have personally found that turning on "Closed Captioning" by choosing the "Game" menu from
the top pull-down menus, and selecting the bottom option, "Closed Captioning", or by pressing
Ctrl-T helps a LOT. Typed sentences may contain clues by capitalizing key words, but you don't
hear any emphasis on the word when the narrator says it.
You can't die, or become trapped for any reason at all. Therefore, try ANYTHING you like,
without fear of consequences.
Love for Sail! Is a game of exploration. So don't miss anything! Look at each new scene
carefully. Click on anything that causes your cursor to highlight. Try all the menu choices. Talk
to everyone you see. Take notes. Remember what they say, as it may come in handy later as
something to talk about with one of your new friends.
Things change during the course of the game. New characters may appear. Keep looking
Think creatively. When you get "stuck", leave and explore other areas. You never know where
you might find just what you need. Above all, relax, let your imagination run wild, and have fun!
La Costa Lotta
In the beginning, you and Shamara are finishing up what you both started in Leisure Suit Larry
VI. After a bit, she suggests doing something new. So, she shackles your hands to the headboard
with "Sisters of Steel" brand handcuffs. You might think this kinky new fantasy might be nice,
but it doesn't last long. As soon as you're shackled, she takes your wallet and leaves the hotel
room, but not without stuffing her cigarette in your mouth first. Of course, you don't smoke, so
you do the stupidest thing possible: spit out the cigarette on the bed, and catch the bed sheet on
fire. The first thing you want to do, is take the Lil' Hair Weave Kit on the dresser to the right
Larry. Then, take the Vice Grips from the dresser to the left of Larry. Access your inventory, by
pressing Ctrl-I, or right clicking anywhere, and choosing "Inventory". Left click once on the Lil'
Hair Weave Kit, and choose "Open". Then, left click on the Vice Grips, and choose "Use" and
choose "Needle". This bends the needle for you, in a zig-zag shape, perfect for picking locks. As
soon as Larry calms down, and stays still, left click on the handcuffs on his hand, and choose Use.
Choose to use the bent needle in the handcuffs. This gets you out of the burning bed, thankfully,
but gets you in a dead end, with the fire inching closer to you, unthankfully. The Fire Chief tells
you to jump. No problem, right? Only because you're on the fortieth floor, that shouldn't make
any difference. However, there's a tiny problem; a glass sliding door. Did I mention the fire
heated the frame, so that you can't open it, either? Didn't think so. Well, looks like you're
to have to break it with something. The lamp is too heavy for you to live (20 pounds is waaay
too heavy for Larry) and the chair crumbles as you smash it against the door. Guess we'll have to
try some Larry-force. Left click on the glass sliding door, and choose "Other..." Type in
"Break", and you'll throw yourself through the glass door, painfully, might I add. You make it to
the balcony, which is where you find a small picture of a cruise ship, which you pocket. Then, the
moment of truth comes: you have to leap forty floors to your safety, or to your death. Pretty fun,
eh? Unfortunately, Larry doesn't have a choice, because the force of the explosion pushes him off
the balcony. He DOES land on the net, however. And then he proceeds to bounce off numerous
things on, and off screen, landing on a nice, soft, cactus. "Leisure Suit Larry, you've just leapt
from the 40th floor of a burning building! What are you going to do next?" Take a cruise, of
The PMS Bouncy (Boarding the ship and first activities)
Larry arrives at the docks, and meets the beautiful Captain Thygh, and gets slapped within the
first two sentences he utters. He boards the ship, and is then given his room keycard by the
purser, but of course, there was a problem with his original room, and he's been moved to a much
BIGGER room. (If you've played previous Leisure Suit Larry games, you know what to expect).
Anyway, just look around the main lobby a bit, and soon, an announcement comes on, to anyway
wishing to hump the Captain for the next week, they should report to the Lounge. Well, needless
to say, you run straight for the Lounge first. After you get the announcement, right click
anywhere on the screen, and choose "Map". This gives you a map of the ship, and if you hold
your cursor over an area, and the area gets highlighted, you can travel to that area. In the lower
right, it shows you a screenshot of the room you'd enter if you click on that area. Look at the
second to the top floor of the ship, and hold your cursor over the red area in the middle of the
deck. It shows in the lower right corner, that it is the "Proud Lil' Seaman Lounge". This is
exactly where you want to go. Click on the red area, and you get "magically" transported there.
Peter the Purser explains the TMT (Thygh Man Trophy) contest. After he is done talking, feel
free to look around, and look at the cannons, or chests. You want to pay special attention to the
left row of chests, about 3 chests back. You should see a speck of red and white striped,
something. Go ahead and click on it. Welcome to "Where's Dildo?", which is a fun game making
fun of "Where's Waldo?". Just find 32 of these little suckers, and you get something special. 1
down, 31 to go. After you're done with that, click on the door at the bottom of the stage, to
leave the lounge. This leads you out to a top deck. As you might notice by sight and hearing, in
the lower right, you see a flashing "1" picture. This tells you to whip out your "CyberSniff 2000"!
Find the number 1 square on your CyberSniff 2000, and scratch it lightly. Then, sniff the number
1 square. Get a big old whiff of sea air. It's just like you're there. You can examine the many
interesting topiaries that the PMS Bouncy has on exhibit. Hidden in the "Where's Dildo" topiary,
you should see another Where's Dildo?. Go ahead and click him. 2 down, 30 to go. Go ahead
and move your cursor to the far left, until you get a left arrow icon. Click, and go left. Here,
can see a fire hose case, and you probably see a fat woman pirate, too. (If not, don't worry,
you'll see her soon enough!) Go ahead and click on the fire hose case, and choose "Open".
Then, click on the fire hose itself, and take it. Also, click the Where's Dildo? that's near the
beaver topiary's rear. (This was added later, so has an out of order number, 32 down, 0 to go)If
you see the pirate woman, click on her, and
choose Talk. Now, you see a menu of options that you can click on, and Larry will discuss that
topic with Peggy. Choose "Your Name", and you tell her you can tell where she got her name
from, and she returns your friendly ice breakers with a half dozen expletives. After you have
chosen all the options, you should have learned a couple things. One, mixing KZ Sexual
Lubricant, and Deodorant will cause an explosion. Two, Peggy swears an awful lot. Now, if you
like, you can choose "Other.." from the conversation menu, and you get to choose the topic.
Type in "Captain" to get a colorful description of Captain Thygh. After you've heard enough,
choose Goodbye. Continue on your way left. Now, do you see the sneaky Where's Dildo? in this
screen? Well, he's behind the sheep topiary pot. 3 down, 29 to go. Go ahead and look at the
topiary sheep, and take some kumquats. You'll be glad you did later. (Although from the
particular kumquats you picked, the sheep isn't too happy). Now, you see another character in
this screen. Go ahead and talk to him. His name is Rod. His job is entertaining the non-existent
children on this cruise. And I must say, he's doing a bang-up job. Talk to him again, and he'll
make you a balloon animal. Keep talking, and he'll make you a huge range of different balloon
animals. (Yeah, right). At this time, bring up your inventory, and let's take a look at what we
have. You can left click on any item, and look at it, and see what it is. Look at your TMT Card,
and you see what competitions you have to participate in. The competitions are: Poop Deck
Horseshoes, Craps Tournament, Tail Deck Bowling, LoveMaster 2000, Captain's Cook-Off, and
Best-Dressed Man. Oh yeah, you'll have no problem with this. Sheesh Larry, good luck...you're
gonna need it.
The LoveMaster 2000 Contest
Get the ship map on screen, and look at the available rooms, until you get to "Library". Go there.
By the grandfather clock, is yet another Where's Dildo?. 4 down, 28 to go. Feel free to look at
all the different books in the bookcases. After you're done, go right. Here, you meet Victorian
Principles. A submissive librarian with an extreme nymphomaniacal, darker side of her, hidden
away. You consider it your job to release that inner beast. Go ahead and talk with her. From the
topics, you learn that she dislikes "spicy" literature, but you're sure she would love it, if she
just exposed to some. In this conversation, "Other..." as the topic is very important. No matter
what you type, she turns around to her computer, and doesn't see you for about 10 seconds. Go
ahead and take the mucilage in front of the pile of books. That's all you can do in here for now,
so split. Say goodbye to her, and go south. Now, take a look at the champagne waterfall. Right
next to it, is a column, and peeking out of it, is a little Where's Dildo?. Go ahead and let him
loose. 5 down, 27 to go. Our next stop is the Clothing Optional Pool, so whip out your ship
map, and click on the pool. In the changing cabana, you can see people come and go, and there's
a little Where's Dildo? in the bushes toward the left. 6 down, 26 to go. Continue on your way
right, and you'll be stopped by Dick. Apparantely, you can't wear you're leisure suit out in the
sun, for fear of igniting. You can understand that, so you get a loaner bathing suit. And what a
normal looking bathing suit it is. At least you can have a towel to cover it up. When you get past
Dick, the CyberSniff 2000 shows a 2. So, grab your sheet, and scratch and sniff number 2. It's
suntan lotion! Well anyway, this nude woman on a chaise lounge gets sunscreen in her eyes, and
asks for a towel, groping blindly in the air. Sure enough, you walk right in the path, and your
cover is shot, and your bathing suit shown. How humiliating. Well, anyway, you get in a
conversation with this woman, and learn her name is Drew Baringmore. Talk to her on all the
options, and learn quite a few things. One, Drew has had her cabin boy lock up her clothes in a
place where she can never get them. Two, a Gigantic Erection is a cocktail, that takes an awful
long time to prepare. Three, the book you want for Victorian, "The Erotic Adventures of
Hercules", is in Drew's hands, and she's not done with it. Also, on your way out, take a look at
"Peoples" magazine to learn about the Juggs. Well, it's about time you checked out your new
digs, so go ahead and get out your ship map, and choose Cabin 0. The first thing you should
notice is the Where's Dildo? directly in front of you, behind the bucket. 7 down, 25 to go. The
second thing you should notice, is the CyberSniff 2000 flashing the number 6. Take a big ol'
whiff of number 6 on your card, and you should smell a dank pit like smell. Feel free to look
around, sleep on the cot. Also, check out the toilet pipe, and unclog it by taking out the can of
Silicone Lubricant. Also, on the opposite side of the toilet, is some nice toilet paper. Go ahead
and take it. Go back to the clothing optional pool, and go left, to Drew's deck. Dick will stop
you again, but in a couple sentences, you've got your elephant, and ready for action. Talk to
Drew, and ask her about her book again. She'll give it to you this time. Great, something to give
Victorian! Go on back to the library, and prepare to swap some books. Once you've gotten the
talking bar up, choose "Other.." and then type anything you want. This will make Vicki turn
around, and type on the computer for 10 seconds. Now, take your time, you can make Vicki turn
and type as much as you want, so you have tons of chances to do this. First off, take the book
with the yellow cover. It's the top book on the stack. Once you have it in your inventory, go in
your inventory, and click on it. Choose Remove Jacket. Then, click on the book jacket, and use
it with the dirty book. Now you have the dirty book with the Prudish And Proud cover. Exit
your inventory, and click the book stack, and use it with the Erotic book with the Prudish cover.
Now, you're all set. Whip out your map, and go back to your cabin. Now, hiding beside the
toilet is another Where's Dildo?. Go ahead and click him. 8 down, 24 to go. Now, whip out
your map again, and choose the Sexual Prowess competition area. It's in the purple rectangle of
blocks. Where's Dildo? time again! This time he's sticking out of the fourth booth. Click him. 9
down, 23 to go. Now, the CyberSniff 2000 also tells you smell a very strong number 7 smell.
Take a little sniff, and it smells like fish. Go figure. Next, click on the lips on the left wall,
use your TMT card in the lips/cardreader. Next, watch poor Larry's attempt to win. You gotta
feel sorry for the guy. On your way out, push the green button beside the fourth booth. After
you're done in there, take out the map, and take another walk to your cabin. You should notice
another Where's Dildo? hiding out behind the pipes in the lower left hand corner. 10 down, 22 to
go. Vicki should be just about done now, so go ahead and use your map to travel to the library.
You should notice a change in music, telling you what to expect up ahead. You'll also notice a
bigger Where's Dildo? on the screen towards the right, behind the pineapple. 11 down, 21 to go.
Well, might as well talk to the new, improved Vicki. After you ask about the weather, it'll turn
her on so much, that she actually has sex with you. (Not having her glasses on made you look a
lot better) Well, having absolutely no clothes, you try to make it to your cabin without being
noticed. However, an old lady sees you just as you near your room. So much for secrecy. As
you get dressed in your room, you should notice that since you've "interacted" with Vicki, there
is now a bitmap saved in your LSL7 directory called "vicky.bmp". I suggest you take a look at it.
Well, after that experience, you just can't wait for more. Get your ship map out, and go to the
Library, again. Now, finish your conversation with Victorian. After asking about Sex, Larry
challenges Vicki to prove that she's the most sexually- competent person on the ship. He tells
her to take his scorecard, and beat the LoveMaster 2000. Well, needless to say, she passes with
flying colors. You didn't win the bet, but you got a record high score on the LoveMaster 2000.
One competition down.
The Best Dressed Man Contest
Now that you're done with the LoveMaster, onto the Best Dressed Competition. Get out the
ship map, and choose the Best Dressed Competition area, in the purple rectangle of blocks.
Aww, isn't that cute? A Where's Dildo? right next to the computer, beside you. Pick him up. 12
down, 20 to go. Now, let's see you blow this contest out of the water. Unzip the mannequin's
fly (Yes, I'm serious) and discover the cleverly hidden cardreader. Wow, record high score,
right? I mean, isn't two just a wonderful score? Ok, looks like you need to cheat on this contest
as well. Take out your map, and travel to Captain Queeg's Ballroom. Since the main doors are
open, go on through. Now, besides the nude swimmers at the top, you should notice a Where's
Dildo? on stage. Go ahead and punch him with the mouse cursor. 13 down, 19 to go. There are also
two other dildos hiding behind the chair, and and next to the statue. (Skipping ahead cause these
dildos were added after, 30 down, 2 to go, and 31 down, 1 to go.) Now, talk
to the woman behind the drawing table. You find out she's the infamous Jamie Lee Coitus. By
talking to her, you learn that Calvin Klone pirated her spring line, and sold it as his. It's
she needs your help. Click "Other..." and type in leisure suits. All right! Now she'll show
suits, and then retro will be in again, and you can win the contest! But where will you get a bunch
of polyester from? I'll tell you where. Pop up your map, and click on the El Replicant Sculpture
Garden. Wow. A really big David made of playing cards, and an almost finished Venus de Milo
of casino dice. If you look carefully beside David's foot, you can see another Where's Dildo?. 14
down, 18 to go. You gotta some of these dice as a souvenir. Click on Venus' foot, and her big
toe, and take a couple souvenir dice. Next, go down, and you're back in the main room. You
should see yet another Where's Dildo? beside the giant books at the entrance leading to the
library. 15 down, 17 to go. After you've clicked him, move right, back into the Sculpture
Garden. The sculptor is gone, and you can climb the ladder of the scaffolding to the Venus O'
Dice. Check out Bob Bitt's toolbox. On the top is a very handy screwdriver. Go ahead and
pocket it. Go to your map again, and this time, head for the Employees Only area. It's close to
the Sculpture Garden. On it, you see the many faces of past TMT contest winners, and a big
picture of Captain Thygh herself, in a bathing suit. And also, you might notice a big security door
with a bunch of testing equipment to gain access to. And of course, there are those lasers in front
of you. Well, Larry Laffer was never one to back away from a challenge. Since you can't die,
just walk right up to the security door, ignoring those large painful weapons that pop out of
everywhere as you pass the lasers. Click on the security door, and choose "Other..." and type in
"Push". I guess someone left it open just enough for you to get in. Once you get inside, you can
see a little Where's Dildo? hiding behind one of the chairs to the right. Click him. 16 down, 16
go. Now, go ahead and check out the counter. There you can take a tube of KZ Sexual
Lubricant, beside the coffee maker; and a jackpot preventer jumper wire above the microwave and
the shaved dice bowl. Take both of these items, and check out the view of Captain Thygh on the
fridge (naked), and the wall (barely clothed), and also check out the lockers on the wall. Also,
read the message board until it repeats itself for some points. After you've taken in all the
scenery, take out your map, and go to the top of the ship; the bridge. The
first thing you see, is a ladder, so you might as well climb it. This takes you up to the sails,
look at them, and you find out they are made of 100% pure polyester. Now if you could only
raise the sails. There's gotta be controls in the bridge, right? Climb down the pole, and go into
the bridge. Aww, you see another Where's Dildo? in there. 17 down, 15 to go. Well, the
controls you want to access are there, but there's a big killer dog guarding them. Hmm, nothing
we can do about him now. Go back outside, and; wait! That control box under the life preserver
looks like it could be the controls that we couldn't get to inside! Take out your trusty
screwdriver, and unscrew the cover. Hmm, the speaker fuse, and the sail fuse. Since there are so
many announcements, let's rig it up so that the sails raise every time an announcement is made.
You are truly a genius, Larry. Take out your jumper wire, and use it on either of the fuses.
Things should happen now. Ok, climb back up the ladder, and wait for an announcement. Wow,
you actually made it work! All right! Now if you only had something to cut it with. Looks like
you need to take a trip to the dining room, Larry. That's the most logical place that a knife would
be found. Take out the map, and go to The Heaving Ho'. First you thing you notice is the
wonderful ice carving of Captain Thygh, which looks very realistic. Go ahead and lick it.
Scanning the room, you also see the door at the far side of the room, with various signs reading
"18 and older Only!" "Closed to the Public!" and other various messages. Holding your ear up to
the door and listening, you hear that they seem to be having a great time! You want in, but the
door is locked. Oh well. As you continue to scan the dining room, you see a nice big bowl of
bean dip. You just can't resist. Go ahead and eat some. Oopsies! Looks like the dip gave us a
problem. Go ahead and click yourself, and find out you have a new option, "Fart". Try it out.
Uh oh! CyberSniff 2000 time!! And no matter how much you don't want to, scratch number 5
on your card, and take a huge whiff. It's like you were just beside Larry. Well, looks like on the
buffet table near the middle, at the bottom is your friend, Where's Dildo?. Go ahead and kick him
off the table. 18 down, 14 to go. Next, you see the meat carver, at the right. Go ahead and talk
to him. He'll give you a nice serving of s'Pork, that great stuff. Talk to him again, and you get
even more s'Pork! All right! The good news is, he's gone, and you can take whatever you want.
And that's the last you'll ever see of Wang. He never comes back. Well, that strange hanging
meat has certainly caught your eye. And one of them is striped! Click on it, and you find out it's
your good buddy, Where's Dildo?. 19 down, 13 to go. Also, that knife is just what you were
looking for, so pocket it. And that heat lamp looks nice too, so take the heat bulb. Now, you're
all ready for the sails again. Using your map, head back to the bridge, and climb the ladder. If
sails aren't up, wait for an announcement. When they're up, climb on the pole, and use the knife
to cut some polyster. And, of course, shortly after there is an announcement, and the sails come
down; with you in them. Ironically enough, that's the last announcement of the evening, and you
spend all night in a sail. Morning comes, and the morning announcement is made, and the sails go
up, and you fall down on the bridge. Ouch. Well, at least you have the cloth. Go back to
Captain Queeg's Ballroom, and talk to Jamie Lee. Use the polyster on her. Well, you end up
naked...again. This time you know you can get back to your room unseen. Well, that's what you
thought, until Peggy showed up. Ech. Well, Larry, Jamie Lee had to leave you something at the
Ballroom, right? Go on back. Ah, a note! It tells you to meet Jamie backstage. All right!!! Get
on backstage, and prepare yourself. Well, you end up ONstage, but you make the best of it, and
start showing off your fashion. Well, I think they loved it, after all, they ripped your suit to
shreds. Okay, once again, you stumble back to your room with nothing on, and know you aren't
going to meet anyone on the way. Instead, you meet a reporter from Inside Edition. Oh well.
Now that you've "interacted" with Jamie Lee, a bitmap has been saved in your LSL7 directory,
called "jamielee.bmp". I suggest you take a look at it. You won't regret it. Well, now that the
"Larry" fashion is in, go back to the Best Dressed contest, and take another stab at it. All right,
win! Congrats! Two contests down.
The Craps Tournament
Ok, you feel like gambling now, right? Get out your map, and go to the Pair O' Dice Casino.
What do you see on the blackjack seats below? Why, it's Where's Dildo?! 20 down, 12 to go.
Well, it looks like you can't even lose at craps, because the table is too full. But, you did
how the people reacted to your "problem" with the bean dip. Maybe it'll work here. Go back to
the dining room, eat some bean dip, and come back to the casino. Then, go ahead and fart. Sure,
it's socially unacceptable, but now the craps table is empty! Talk to the "Croupier", and get a
for his attitude. Then, go ahead, and play. And lose, too. Hmm, it looks like those souvenir dice
with the glue would help right now. Nuts! Looks like Jacques won't let you use those dice. Use
the souvenir dice with the toilet paper, to get the new, improved completely illegal, but Jacques
doesn't know, dice. Now that you got your shaved dice, nothing can stop you. Bet again, and
once Jacques gives you the casino dice, use your shaved dice on the table instead. Once you start
winning, a woman named Dewmi Moore (Nice name, eh?) takes notice of you, and offers you a
game of Strip Liar's Dice. You accept, of course, (The game has the word "strip" in it) and you
go to her cabin. The rules are relatively easy, you can view them by clicking on "How to Play".
It takes a lot of saving, and restoring, but you'll win. The first few times you win, she pays for
new dice by paying up some money, but after she runs out of money, things start getting
interesting. After your fifth win, she starts taking off clothes. First to go are the shoes, then
blouse, then her skirt, and then she buys a die from the excess money she made off the skirt.
After that, she takes off an earring, and then the other earring. Then, off the excess money she
made off both earrings, she buys another die. After that, things start getting serious. She then
takes off her panties, but after that, she doesn't buy any more die, she waits until all her die are
gone, so you have to win 5 more times. Then, she starts taking off her bra, when she offers you a
drink to loosen up. You decline at first, but then accept. And just as she's taking off her bra,
slip into this deep dream like phycadelic sex-oriented state of mind, with 60's music playing in the
background. She's drugged ya! Well, you wake up naked, in her pool, and once again have to
walk to your room. Once again, someone sees you, this time a nun. Egads! Once you're
dressed, I suggest you save your game, load up a picture viewer, and view "dewmi.bmp" in your
LSL7 directory. It'll be worth the time and effort. And then, you get the announcement that you
won the craps tournament. Good job! Three contests down.
Poop Deck Horseshoes
After your encounter with Dewmi, go back to her room using your map. On the table near the
left wall, you see what she drugged you with: Orgasmic Powder! Well, no big deal. Now to win
that Cook Off. First stop, go back to the Promenade Deck, and talk to Peggy. Talk to her about
a Cabin Boy, and then the break room. And if you looked at the lockers, and tried to open them,
then tell her about the lockers, and she'll give you the locker to look in. If not, go back and try
open the lockers. Go back to the lockers, and open the second one from the left, on the bottom
row. Then, go back to Peggy and ask her the combonation. She tells you the combo, 38-24-36.
Go back to the lockers and punch it in. And you get smashed by the locker bay. Go in, and talk
to Xqwzts, and talk to him about the dirty pictures. Then ask how he did it, and finally buy the
pictures from him. Next, get out of Xqwzts's room. Then, go to the main room, with the
waterfall of champagne a.k.a. Das Grande Atriumo. Talk to Peter the Purser about everything.
Then, use the white courtesy phone on the column next to the main desk. Call pranks. Then,
walk away from the phone, and look at the roofs above you. On the second one, is your good pal
and mine, Where's Dildo? Get him. 21 down, 11 to go. Then, go back to the Promenade Deck,
and ask Peggy about Xqwzts. You find out that Xqwzts wants a passport very badly. Go to the
purser again, and ask him about obtaining your passport. You find out you need a Photo I.D.
Well, we got our dirty pictures, we got mucilage, and we got a keycard. Put the mucilage on the
dirty pictures, and paste them on the keycard. Bingo! Our Photo I.D. Show it to the Purser to
get your passport, and then go back to Xqwzts. Show him the passport, and he runs off with it.
But, he leaves his custodial key. Go ahead and take it. You've just gained access to three new
areas. Now, let's take a look at the credits, to thank the wonderful people who made this game.
Go to the pull down menus at the top, choose Help, and choose About... Wow!! Look!! It's
Where's Dildo?! 22 down, 10 to go. Now, go ahead and thank each member of the Larry team.
After you're done, get out your map and go to the Ballroom. Read the note that Jamie Lee left
you. Oh well, Larry. Things will get better. Now, let's go to your room again. Try to flush your
toilet, and learn it's out of water. No problem! Hook up your fire hose to the water pipe behind
the staircase, and flush the toilet again. There we go! Now, head on over to the Poop Deck.
Talk to those large-breasted woman in the hot tub. So these are the Juggs we read about. From
talking to them, you'll learn that by mixing Spandex, Silicone Lubricant, and heat, you get a nice
little chemical reaction that'll provide some neat effects with the Juggs. Maybe you should try
that out? Now, go on to the Proud Lil' Seaman Lounge, and head southeast. You'll run into a
bar. Talk to the bartender, and order some Lime Juice. While he's making it, check out the
Where's Dildo? near the west side of the window. 23 down, 9 to go. After he's done with your
lime juice, order a Gigantic Erection, like Drew did. He'll tell you it'll take a while. Now, when
he's gone, exit the bar, and go into the room to the left of the bar window. This is the Juggs'
dressing room. Hmm, your silicone lubricant looks a lot like the deodorant on their dressing
table. Make a swap. And now you have KZ Lubricant, and Deodorant, you can make a nice little
show. And can you see the little Where's Dildo? behind those hay stacks? 24 down, 8 to go.
Also, you can check out their Karaoke system as well. Don't forget to push the red button next
to the records on your way out! Leave the dressing room, and notice that the lighting system has
come down! Take a look at the lamp, take out the current bulb, and replace it with the heat lamp
bulb. That should do it! Now, order another Gigantic Erection, go back in the dressing room,
and hit the button again to raise the lighting trusses. And one of the times you go in the dressing
room, if you're lucky, you just might see the Juggs in there. And believe me, it's something you
want to see. Leave, and go anywhere, and prompty return to the lounge. You should see the
Juggs performance, and I must say, it's pretty damn good. You get to even take part in it! After
you're wonderful experience, you once again leave for your room exposed. And a bunch of
Japanese photographers are there to greet you. At this point, open juggs.bmp in your LSL7
directory. You'll be glad you did! Once again, leave for the Lounge, and go up on stage via the
new stairway to the right. Grab those chase lights on stage, and head left. Grab the remote on
the switchboard, and play with Mr. Karaoke, if you like. Once you've gotten everything, get your
map out, and go to the horseshoes competition. Do you see Where's Dildo? to the right of the
champagne waterfall on the opposite court? 25 down, 7 to go. Now, take your TMT Scorecard,
and shove it up the Centaur's ass. No, I'm not joking. You get some spiffy horseshoes. Now
play, and lose. Then, take out your card from the horse's ass, and go to the Sculpture Garden.
Climb the ladder of the Venus O' Dice, and wrap the Battery Powered Chase Lights on the spike.
That oughtta fix your losing streak at horseshoes, as soon as you turn on the belt. That spike is
the horseshoe spike from the above deck, if you hadn't noticed. Head back to the horseshoe area,
stuff your card in the cardreader in the horse, and turn on the remote. Now, play some
horseshoes and win! Take your keycard, and listen to the wonderful announcement of you
winning yet another competition. Four contests down.
Tail Deck Bowling
Ok, go to the bowling competition, and let's see how well you do at this. Well, look what's
hiding behind that little rhino butt! It's Where's Dildo?! 26 down, 6 to go. Insert your TMT
scorecard in between the walrus teeth, and get your bowling ball. Now, play, and...lose. Oh well.
Go back to the Employees Only lounge, and go into Xqwzts's room. Now, using your
screwdriver, open up the vent, and crawl in. Ah, looks like you're behind the door of that locked
room in the dining room! Aha! Well, just jump right in! Click on yourself (you're near the right
wall, kinda at the top), and click Undress. Well, that was certainly interesting. Again, you
to your room naked, and Peter gets ya this time. Eep! While you walk down the stairs, you
notice the woman in black at the Dessert Eating, is sitting on your bed. You both get into a
discussion, and the Larry and the woman completely misunderstand one another. She gives him a
"sample" of what to expect, and also drops her hanky. Once you get dressed, pick up the hankie,
and go to the dining room, and go up, into the dessert eating room. Take a look around, sniff the
CyberSniff 2000, and take a look at the chair in the lower left corner of the table. You smell the
same perfume that you had smelled previously on that woman in black, and you find a life
insurance policy under the chair. Now to find out who this woman is. Take a look at the policy,
read it, and find out who she is. Now, go to Peter Purser, and ask him about her. Hmm, no luck.
Go to the white courtesy phone, and call Boning a couple times. Once you've called him twice,
talk to Peter again, and ask him about your account. When he's gone, look at his phone, and
push the red LND button to find out Annette Boning's cabin number. Now, to pay her a visit.
Go to her cabin, and open the door. Now, you're in the dark with a bed, and a person in the bed
who appears to be Annette. Hop in! Well, you learn a whole lot of crap, including you were
"boning" Mr. Boning! Yipes! A whole lot of mass miscommunication happens between Annette
and Larry, and he winds up naked going to his room again. This time he couldn't care less if
someone saw him, but then a little girl and her mommy come. Eek, again! Once you get dressed,
take a look at annette.bmp, it's pretty good! Well, you don't give up easy, so head back to the
Boning cabin, ring the doorbell, and talk to Mrs. Boning. Well, Ms. now. Give her the life
insurance, and she'll give ya half a billion dollars in stock. But you wanted to get laid! Oh
now at least you can win the bowling competition. How, might you ask? Simple. Whip out Mr.
Ship Map, and choose to go to the Aft Hold. Use the custodial key in the handle. So this is
where they make bowling pins, eh? I bet you could win the contest using that cool little
deodorant-on-the-KZ-jelly-things-go-boom trick. Open up the bowling pin hopper that's right
next to you, and spray your deodorant on the pins. Now, go in your inventory, and put the KZ
jelly on the hanky you got from Annette. Go back to the bowling alleys, and insert your keycard
in the walrus teeth, take your ball, and use it with the treated hanky. Now, bowl, and win! All
right, that was quite a show! And now you've won the bowling. 5 contests down.
Captain's Cook Off
Get out your map, and travel to the kitchen. Can you see Where's Dildo? in the meats? 27 down,
5 to go. Go ahead and take the fish in newspaper on the center table, and the pot and salt on the
southwest table. Also, use the CaviarMaster 2000 on the west table. Then, read the magazine
you just got. It tells you a neat little recipe you can make yourself. All you need is beaver
lime juice, salt, mold, and kumquats. You have 3 out of 5 things, the others shouldn't be that
hard to get. Using your map, go to the Lower Aft Hold, and use the key in the door. Now, click
on any beaver, and choose Other, and type in milk. What a show! And now you have beaver
milk! Next, go to the library, and read the books they have. The two books you really wanna read
are the electromagnetism one, and the Fokker one. The Fokker one is on the right shelf, near the
middle-top, the electromagnetism is on the left shelf, near the bottom. Next, travel to the
Forward Hold. Use the key in the handle, and check out the Where's Dildo? hidden behind some
luggage to your left. 28 down, 4 to go. Now, all you need is mold.
Go to the Captain's Quarters, and take a look at the scoreboard. Sheesh, you're close! Only one
more contest to go. Knock on the Captain's room, and you get a little taste of what it's like to be
a TMT winner. Go on back to the Optional Clothing Pool, and look at the bush to the right. Do
I see a little Where's Dildo?? 29 down, 3 to go. (The next to last 2 are found in the ballroom,
see above to see where to get them, so you end up with 31 of 32 dildos) Now, go back and talk to
Drew, and get her to
go to your cabin. After she tells you that she has no clothes, and her suitcase is locked up, go
the Forward Hold, and Drew's suitcase will be thrown at you. Get the suitcase, and travel back
to Drew. Tell her about the suitcase, and she'll go to your cabin. However, she takes a shower,
and never comes out. But there's something you can do to get her to come out. Flush the toilet,
and listen to her screams. Well, it didn't work out as you expected, you thought she could take a
little joke. Now, you might wanna check out drew.bmp, you'll like it. Leave your cabin, and
come back, and mold should have grown in the safety shower. Take some. Now, travel to the lounge,
and if you listen to the Clinton jokes a while, you'll get 5 points. Now, travel to the
kitchen, and use the milk with the CyberCheese 2000. Now, you've got some Beaver cheese.
Use the kumquats with the cheese, and you'll whip up some quiche. Also, click on the python that's
on the ground in the kitchen for some extra points. But the quiche still won't win the
taste contest. I know! Put some of that orgasmic powder on it. That oughtta get a reaction out
of those judges. Go to the Cook-Off, and give them your quiche. And, of course, you win. All
contests are done! Congratulate yourself, Larry.
Captain Thygh, One on One
Finally, you win the contest! Some good luck, for a change. Go up to the Captain's Quarters,
and politely knock on the door. Uh oh. Out comes last week's winner, who gives you a warning
not to enter. To hell with him, you've gotten this far, right? As you enter the door, you see a
wonderful land, with green grass and blue skies. You, of course, sensing the opera music, get
dressed for the occasion, and after only one fall in the water, race up the stairs to meet the
wonderful Captain Thygh. How you wish she was as taken with you as you are with her.
However, she turns her head in disgust, and it crushes you. (Kind of). But, as I said before, you
never give up! After a short conversation with the captain, you learn that she's always wanted to
operate a huge crude oil tanker. Well, don't you have those stocks? Go on and give them to her,
and happily watch the epilogue. Congratulations on a job well done, Larry. Don't forget to look
Easter Eggs Found So Far
-By clicking on the beaver in the library, and choosing "Milk", you'll get a little surprise
next time you go into the Juggs dressing room.
-By clicking on the plant in front of Drew, and choosing "push", you'll get a little
More easter eggs to come soon.
Name of Item Place Gotten How used
Lil' Hair Weave Kit Shamara's Room To open and get needle
Vice Grips Shamara's Room To bend needle
Needle Lil' Hair Weave Kit To bend
Bent Needle Lil' Hair Weave Kit To unlock handcuffs
Your Cabin Keycard Peter the Purser To unlock your cabin; to serve as photo i.d.
Ship's Map Peter the Purser To navigate the ship
TMT Scorecard Proud Lil' Seaman Lounge To keep track of events; scoring
Firehose Promenade Deck In your cabin to hook up toilet and water pipe
Kumquats Fo'c's'le Used in quiche recipe
Mucilage Library Used to paste photo to keycard
Silicone Lubricant Your Cabin To replace with deodorant in the Juggs dressing
Toilet Paper Your Cabin To shave the souvenir dice
"The Erotic...Hercules" Clothing Optional Pool Used to make Victorian loose
"Prudish..." Sans Jacket Anywhere No use
"Prudish..." Book Jacket Anywhere Used on "Erotic..." and given to Victorian
Souvenir Dice Sculpture Garden To get shaved and win at craps
Screwdriver Sculpture Garden To unscrew the cover to the PA system and sails,
and also to unscrew the grate in Xqwzts's room
KZ Sexual Lubricant Employee Lounge To be wiped on the bowling ball with hanky to win
Jumper Wire Employee Lounge Used on PA system and sail controls outside Bridge
Carving Knife The Heaving Ho' Used to cut polyester from the ship's sails
Heat Lamp Bulb The Heaving Ho' Used on the lighting trusses to make the Juggs
Polyser Cloth Above the Bridge Used on Jamie Lee Coitus to win Best Dressed
Orgasmic Powder Cabin 510 (Dewmi's Room) Used on quiche to win Cook-Off
Dirty Pictures Xqwzts's Room Used with mucilage and keycard to make photo i.d.
Sticky Dirty Pictures Anywhere Used on keycard to make photo i.d.
Photo I.D. Anywhere Used with Peter the Purser to gain Passport
Passport Peter the Purser Given to Xqwzts
Custodial Key Xqwzts's Room Used to open the ship holds
Magazine Page Kitchen Used to get quiche recipe
Pot Kitchen Used to hold beaver milk
Salt Kitchen Used in quiche recipe
Venezuelan Beaver Milk Lower Aft Hold Used in quiche recipe
Lime Juice Lounge Used in quiche recipe
Deodorant Spray The Juggs Dress Room Used on bowling pins in Aft Hold
Chase Lights Lounge Used on spike in Sculpture Garden
Remote Control Proud Lil' Seaman Lounge Used to turn on Chase Lights, and magnetize
Woman's Handkerchief Your Room after Annette Used to apply KZ jelly to bowling ball to win
Life Insurance Policy Dessert Tasting Room Given to Annette to get stocks
Stock Certificate Owner's Suite (Annette) Given to Captain Thygh to get laid
Treated Handkerchief Anywhere Used to put on bowling ball to win Bowling Contest
Mold Your Room (Drew) Used in quiche recipe
The Spoiler Centre