ESCAPE FROM MONKEY ISLAND
Act 1 : Melee Island
On the ship Use the brazier of hot coals to kick it down and then pick it up (with your feet, it's possible). Turn towards the loaded cannon and kick the coals at it. That's it.
Stopping the boulder slinging
Go to the scumm bar on the far side of town. Talk to the dart players until you can challenge them to hit the drunk guy's balloon. Take his pretzels. Go to the harbor and pick up the popped innertube laying near the grog machine. Go back to the mansion and use the popped innertube on the cactus on the right side of mansion. Approach the boulder slinging pirate and offer him pretzels. When he walks off to eat, quickly turn towards the catapult and fiddle with the controls.
Getting a ship & crew
Head towards town and talk to Otis & Carla until you find out that they want a cushy government job. Go to the scumm bar and talk to I Cheeze (the non-drunk pirate). In order to get him as your navigator, you must beat him at insult arm-wrestling. Just pick the most appropriate come-back, fairly easy. Once that's done, head to the harbor and talk to the harbor mistress. She will tell you that you need proof of authority to get a ship. Go back to the mansion and go inside. Inside, you will find a desk with a contract. First, read it to be sure that it is a 'cushy government job'. Hand it to Elaine for her signature and then talk to her about getting a ship. She will end up giving you a gubernatiorial symbol of authority. Go back into town and give the contract to Otis & Carla, then head to the harbor and give the symbol of authority to the harbor mistress.
Chapter 1 : Lucre Island
Starting out / Getting framed Go to the lawyer building and talked to the three lawyers. Eventually, you will receive a letter. Read it. Take it to the bank and ask the banker to bring out your safe deposit box. Pick up the sword and use it on the bottom hinge of the door. The hinge will break off, but so will the sword Use the broken part of the sword on the crack to wedge it open somewhat. In the safe deposit box, you'll find grog and a music box. Don't forget to pick up the hanky on the floor. Pick up all three sponges and use them on the crack. Once that's done, pour the grog on the sponges. They will expand and force the door open. When you appear in jail, pick up the chicken grease and head out.
Preparations / Obtaining Directions
Head towards the perfume shop and pick up one of the empty perfume bottles laying around. You don't have to talk to the annoying guy :) Smell the hankerchief you picked up in the safe. Each time you smell, one of the necessary ingredients for the perfume will be revealed. Get the wood shavings at the House of Sticks. Get the free fish at the bait shop. Get some water from the water fountain. Get a flower from the mansion on the map (outside of Lucre town). Get some swamp water from the swamp north of town. Combine these items into the perfume bottle. Go to the opposite end of town and pick up the loudmouth duck that's wandering around. It'll come in handy later. Head to the Palace of Prosthesis and talk to Dave. Spray the perfume at him and he will reveal a random name. He will tell you that the directions to the home in the swamp are in the file. In order to get the file, you need to figure out the filing contraption. The three pictures symbolize the first letter of the First, Middle, and Last name respectively.Bunny : A - D
Tree : E - H
Pumpkin : I - M
Monkey : N - T
Banana : U - Z
While you're in the shop, you might want to get the fake hand that will be needed later on. Talk to him and ask about a hand. Use the music box and steal the hand quickly. Don't forget to snag the file before you leave. Head to the chess players in the middle of town. Talking to the larger one, you will find out that the smaller one is obsessed with Britanny (the banker). Talk to both of them until they begin to argue, then snatch their clock.
Pegnose Pete's House
Head out of town and towards the swamp. Look at your directions and then use the clock on the raft. Go according to the times listed and you should end up at the house. Note: Directions seem to be random, so there is no need to list them here. Pay attention to what happens when you meet yourself in the future, you need to replay the same events when you meet again in order to prevent a time paradox :) Be sure to note the order of receiving items as well as the number that is said. When you arrive at the house and go through the dialog, use the chicken grease with the doormat. Then use the chicken with the window and you're all done.
Proving your innocence
Head over to the bank and use the broken sword on the manhole. Pick up the manhole and take it to Dave at Palace of Prosthetics. Ask him for a free item. Mention the three names etched on the manhole and you'll be rewarded with fake skin, otherwise a defective liver :) Use this skin on the manhole to bounce into the bank. There is a chain you can pull to turn on the lights once in the bank. Once there is light, you'll be able to see a strange looking shadow on the balcony to the left. Look at it and a cutscene will start. Pick up the scupperware on your way out. Go to the bait shop and pick up some free bait to put in the scupperware. Use the prosthetic hand on the termites and head off to Mandrill's mansion (out of Lucre town). Use your special cologne on one of his stuffed animals and watch what happens. Once that's done, head to the House of Sticks and use the termites on his repaired stick. Go back to his mansion and talk to him. Mention his loot and the entire framing episode; he will leave a trail on his way to the loot which you must follow. When you arrive, there will be a passageway on the other side. Go down and use the button. Once you come back up, use the scupperware in the water and a fish will come running. The fish illuminate the way and you can enter the secret cave. Enter the door and pick up the loot as well as the screw. Show both items to the inspector and you're all done!
Act 2 : Melee Island
What is the Ultimate Insult?!
Go see the voodoo lady in town. Pull one of the fingers to speak to the voodoo lady. Ask about the Ultimate Insult and then talk to her about heirlooms. She will give you a few items. Go see meathook and ask him about his candles. He'll move his paintbucket towards you, make sure to pick up the paintbrush on the ground. Head over to the docks. Pick up the quarter laying in the change return slot of the grog machine and use it on the machine. Once it get's stuck, kick/punch/shake/yell at it and you will be rewarded with plenty of grog. Pick one up. Head back towards town and into the scumm bar (now the lua bar). Sit down at the middle stool and call the waitress. Order something cooked from the waitress. As the boat comes down the track pull out the paintbrush and use it on the propulsion system just as it passes under the painting. This may take some practice, so don't worry if you don't get it on the first try. The chef should come out and check on the problem. Run into the kitchen and pour some grog into the steam generator. Act quickly and you will eventually receive a painting. Go to the harbor and towards your boat. Use the earrings you got from the voodoo lady on the figurehead of your boat. Then, do the same with the necklace, pen, painting (in that order).
Act 2 : Jambalaya Island
Talk to tourists, find out more about the Ultimate Insult. Head over to StarBuccanneer's and look in the window (at the cup). Go inside and grab it, then ask the employee behind the counter for a refill. Steal the tourist woman's souvenir cup; get a sample of mini bagels and keep the topping you receive. Go to Stan's House. Take the glue under the window and grab one of the flyers on the desk. Drink coffee; listen to stan's timeshare lecture. Eventually, you'll receive a coupon for Planet Threepwood. Head back to town and towards the brewery. Put your glue on the mechanical manatee. Talk to the bartender and persuade him to give you some grog and let you ride the manatee. Another coupon arrives :) Head to Planet Threepwood and take notice of the specials of the day. Speak to a waitress and order anything; tell her you have a coupon. When the pirate approaches you, ask for a charicature (of yourself and your brand new mug). Once that's done, use your glue on the caricature and the caricature on the souvenir starbuccanneer's mug you stole earlier. Swap the two mugs.
Head back to the dock and into the row bow. Row over to the pirate ship and persuade him to let you by. Next, make your way to the small island on the right. Go to the school house on the right and sign up for pirate lessons. Use common sense on the anwsers and you'll be rewarded with a certificate. Sign up for another class, but give wrong anwsers. You'll receive a dunce cap. Pull the fire alarm outside the school house. While the teacher is out investigating, go inside and grab an item from the chest. Repeat until you have all the items except the tobacco. Back in the rowboat, go straight to the left (onto the beach). Take the path to Stan's and go to the diving competition.
Talk to Marco de Pollo as well as the judges. Tell them you want to dive. Talk to the hippie looking judge and he will teach you technique. After talking to the judge on the left about his wife, hand him the flyer. Put the bagel topping on Marco de Pollo's baby seal oil and proceed to challenge him to a competition. Match his moves and wait for the tie decision. You go first this time and do whatever you'd like because when Marco goes, he'll be attacked by seaguls. Trophy comes next :)
Finishing it off
Go back to the small island and up to the puppet house. Talk to the small LeChuck, ask where he's been. Disregard the GuyBrush puppet and show the insult map to the pupeterr. He will run away. Pick up the puppets and head to the right. Talk to the pirate about his father's hat. Keep going right. Blow your whistle at the parrots. Give them some grog; ask the drunk parrot about the hat. Use the puppets on the boulder and you should be on your way to act 3!
Act 3 : Monkey Island
Wow, Monkey Island!
Read the note after you "arrive". Head to clearing and talk to Herman. Pick up the coconut and throw it at Herman; then, talk to him again. Head to the canyon and snatch the banana picker. Make your way back to the beach. Use the picker to pick the bananas; give one to Timmy the Monkey. Timmy will now follow you, so go back to the canyon. Another banana will get him to follow you into the mine. Keep giving him bananas until both of you are at the huge door. Open vent; use banana on it; close it. Use another banana on the portal, step inside, and use the banana picker to snatch the weed whipper. Head to the vista point. Pick up a rock and throw it at the right-most canal. When the branch moves, throw another rock at the middle canal. Again, when the branch moves throw a rock at the left canal. Go to the Church of LeChuck and use the banana picker to get the two shields mounted above the door. Talk to the priest (father) and get him to let you ride the lava boat. Once you have control of it, steer towards the milk bottle and use the banana picker on it. Ride again and steer towards the boulder and kick the tree over after clearing the weeds with your weed whipper. Go back to where Herman is, hit him with the milk bottle and then talk to him. Talk to Jojo and ask about Monkey Combat (pay attention to this). Go to the Monkey Town and examine your shields. Give your cymbals (shields) to the musical monkey. You'll end up with an accordion in your hands. Back to Herman, throw the accordion at him and talk to him again. You'll receive a melee (gubernatorial) symbol.
This part is where things get complicated. First, fight monkeys (and lose occassionally) in the jungle in order to learn the different transition commands as well as what moves beat others. As far as I know, everyone's results are random, so there is no use in posting a reference here. Once you have a complete chart written down, kick some monkey butt in town. Eventually you'll beat Jojo and receive a hat.
Head to the big monkey head and use Jojo's hat on it. Use your banana picker on the nose. Go in and use the melee symbol on the slot. After the cutscene, you'll find yourself in what seems to be a giant monkey. Pick up the large blank and use it on the small building. Climb it and jump on the plank. Flip the gigantic switch. Draw LeChuck three times by copying his moves; there is no way to beat him. He'll get frustrated and give up. That's all folks.